30 Thoughts Every Cyclist has During Spin Class

If you thought spinning was just like cycling but indoors, get ready for a huge learning experience

Going to a spin class can make many cyclists feel slightly out of their element. It’s an activity so close to what we do on a regular basis, but different enough to leave us splayed over the bars thinking, “I just can’t hover anymore!”

Plenty of strong, elite-level cyclists have admitted to feeling humbled and leveled by perky, ponytailed instructors who keep turning up the resistance long after an interval should have ended. We sent one reporter to her first spin class and had her record her thoughts. The result? A lot of sweating, a lot of cursing (most of it internal), and a lot of feelings recorded in her training journal. Here are a few:

1. The girl next to me just asked if I’ve taken any other class today—is she trying to psych me out? *Must look more serious.*

2. Game face is on. Let’s go!

3. Wow, that music is loud. Nope, that’s just the instructor singing along.

4. "Pick it up?" Pick what up? I’m spinning as fast as I can!

5. Oh. This button controls resistance. I miss my shifters.

6. I wonder what my power would read right now.

7. I’ve probably burned enough calories for a beer.

8. Jazz hands. Well, I haven’t ever done this outside.

9. Must. Outsprint. Girl. Ahead. Of. Me.

10. Right. Stationary bikes. Can’t *actually* catch her.

11. Two beers burned.

12. I think this instructor is channeling a perkier version of Tony Robbins.

13. I wonder how Tony Robbins would look in her sparkly pink tank top that says 'Muscles Are Pretty.'

14. Focus!

15. Can I get this spin-bike fitted?

16. How are NONE of these people wearing actual cycling shorts?

17. Why is the heavily tattooed man in front of me so close to tears?

18. Sprint! I’ve totally got this. I am a cycling goddess. A rockstar. I am the sprint master.

19. … I totally do not have this.

20. What the hell does she mean, hover and sprint? Slipped a pedal. SLIPPED A PEDAL!

21. Wait a second, there is no hover in cycling!

22. I’m a cyclist. I’m even a good cyclist. How are these non-cyclists doing this right now?

23. Are they cheating on resistance?

24. They must be cheating on resistance.

25. How do I have this much sweat? It's starting to puddle on the floor. Should I spill my water bottle so it looks like water from that?

26. No. I need this water bottle.

27. And a six-pack.

28. Is it getting hotter in here? Why is there a fan that is NOT TURNED ON?!

29. I am dying.

30. Oh. We’re done. I kinda miss it.